The Super Bowl is upon us, which means hot wings, hot country singers singing the national anthem, and hot fucking guys playing football.

Not sure who to root for? Decide based on the most scientific of facts: sexual attraction. So, the Patriots.

Tom Brady: New England Patriots Quarterback

Matt Ryan: Atlanta Falcons Quarterback

Rob Gronkowski: New England Patriots Tight End

Paul Worrilow: Atlanta Falcons Linebacker

Julian Edelman: New England Patriots Wide Receiver

Julio Jones: Atlanta Falcons Wide Receiver

Danny Amendola: New England Patriots Wide Receiver

Matt Bosher: Atlanta Falcons Punter

Jimmy Garoppolo: New England Patriots Quarterback

Chris Long: New England Patriots Defensive End

DGAF about football? Us either tbh. That’s why we’re throwing a Super Bowl party, which you should follow onFacebook LiveandInstagram Livewe’ll be doing fun shit like games and a Q&A with Jared Freid. Be sure to tune in to our post-halftime show, immediately following the halftime show (whenever that is).

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